At some point in the life of a community, there will be a point of chaos. I’ve been part of enough congregations and other types of groups to know this happens EVERYWHERE. For this particular team, one (of many to come) point of chaos came when our friend decided to leave the group. There was a lot of frustration on the part of the leadership, a lot of confusion on the part of the team, and some hurt feelings all around.
Chaos is not a sign of unhealth, it’s a sign of progress. Conflict is inevitable. When you put two people into a room, there will be very subtle differences to very large differences. Even the most subtle differences will lead us towards chaos. Chaos is where the “defining the relationship” conversations come in handy.
It’s at this point in a relationship where we are faced with a choice. Will we lean in and be honest about how we are experiencing one another (flaws and all) or will we revert back to Pseudo community and stay camped there for the long haul? I don’t think you need deep community with every person, which is why I’m pretty comfortable to remain in that “pseudo” camp with most people. However, I deeply long for a deep communion with God, so those who I have deep community with play a major role in my formation.
This group needed to hear about the place of chaos. In their minds, that’s right where they are at the moment. Each person on the team deeply desires to reach that “deep community” place with one another, but had no idea of what it will require of them. To move through this tunnel of chaos will require them to lay down some things if they will ever move to the next level on the journey.