Puking Fish & Freedom in Jesus

“One day when I’m a daddy…” Ezra says in frustration as we send him off to his room. Ever had that thought? That idea that perfect scenarios and rad sunsets every night was just around the corner? I love that illusion… it offers some kind of soothing undertone doesn’t it?

Or maybe that’s death wrapped up in hope’s clothes.

I seem to catch myself in contemplation more often than I’m accustomed to these days. There’s a lot to process in restarting a ministry with a new vision and new location (well, almost new location). I feel like the process is really slow. I find myself thinking “oh man, when we FINALLY get into the house, all these things will just fall into place”. I know better than that though. That never happens. And it’s not that I’m pessimistic, it’s that God doesn’t work that way.

My plans were to have us in the house April 1 at the latest. It will only be July 1. Yeah, I get it… what’s 3 months? That’s the worst thing you can say to an early adopter! It’s not that ministry has stood still. Honestly, our team was reflecting on this a while ago and pretty blown away by how far we’ve gotten in only 8 weeks’ time. But I want more. I’m hungry for more. And so are a lot of people it seems.

We rush and we force our way into the “preferred future” only to find out it has issues just like our past did. We think a new job will fix it, or a higher position, or more money… but all that just brings newly furnished issues. What would happen if, while resting in the belly of this whale called “waiting,” we rested and stopped beating on the ribs to let us out? The fish will vomit us onto shore sooner or later.

That was a hard question my friend asked me the other day, but I’m finding that to be one of the best questions I’ve asked friends to think about lately. So many people I interact with struggle with the same things I do… and that question has chased me back to the only real important thing. Jesus.

Oversimplified statement, but the most profound statement my peanut brain can come up with. All my vain effort is beating on the ribs, and Jesus in his perfect timing is puking us up onto shores all over the place. God’s presence is not far away, it is in our midst at work. My hope is that my eyes would be open to His constant presence and that my community and our friends would join us in the deep re-creation of His world here in Pretoria.


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